2008-09-08T13:12:15Z http://so.verycontrary.com/atom.aspx Quick Blog tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-06-08:262ca2b9-c585-4176-834a-2dcbb0f11eee Contrary 2006-06-08T16:01:00Z 2006-06-08T16:01:00Z new blog with fresh new entries , just waiting for you.    There's also a new website coming soon. Very soon. Courtesy of the lovely Blue.  

    This is the last post here, as it will be gone soon.  So, please, come visit me at the new place. I'd love to see you there!
]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-31:3cfddf49-88ca-473a-a315-7d0ec0ed3542 Contrary 2006-10-26T10:59:56Z 2006-05-31T18:29:00Z
 ...because its moving day, bitches! 

     I would really appreciate a visit at the new blog and hey, tell your friends.  And somebody bring some wine, because moving is HARD.

     If you cannot get enough of being called 'bitches' and think I'm even sort of interesting or funny or find that reading me is like watching a huge car wreck (you don't want to look, but you can't help yourself), please go here and see the new blog.  

    The rest of the site is still under construction and I will keep y'all updated from the new place. 

    Well, what are you waiting for?  Go see it!  


  Update: I fixed the link to the new blog. Thank Mrs. Chili for noticing and thanks Blue for fixing it. By the way, y'all be some funny bitches.   
]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-29:7d71e7f4-892a-4f39-99c8-1593147d82d1 Contrary 2006-05-29T20:25:00Z 2006-05-29T20:25:00Z
  I'm low on words, but I can still deliver, because if this picture doesn't make you smile, you are dead inside.  Really, seek help. 

  Maybe he'll grow up to be a prop comic, like Bobby Hill and CarrotTop.




]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-26:75da639f-f967-4509-9f28-ec424741b3ce Contrary 2006-05-26T20:25:01Z 2006-05-26T19:45:00Z
       Once upon a time, there were two restless souls.  A well-bred and distinguished gentleman, who we'll call Oliver, and a low-born but quite attractive and intelligent little chit we'll call Honey (as befits her low station).

    Oliver and Honey hadn't much in common, really.  Oliver was older (going a bit gray and all that)  and quite accomplished.  He was looked up to by many and was master of all he surveyed. A lover of fine food and drink, and it must be acknowledged, quite the party animal, he was a popular fellow and well looked upon.

   Honey, to put it frankly, came from the wrong side of the tracks.  Though quite pretty, she was very shy and introverted. She didn't trust easily and it showed.  She was younger, a child really.  She had beautiful brown eyes that would draw you in, but their depths admitted no one into her heart.

     They knew each other casually for a while, running into each other at the local watering hole, or bumping into one another at the local casual dining establishment. They each thought the other was nice enough, when they thought of the other at all.

    Then, one day, all that changed.   They, or at least Oliver, fell in love.   Who knows if Honey loved him or just saw a way to improve her station in life?     Who knows how long it will last?

   Oh, wait. I do.  About another week, until that little bitch goes out of heat. 


                                

              Honey
                                                                                        

 

                Oliver

 
    
            Try not to think of how ugly their children would be.    
]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-25:aa116ccf-78ff-4b6c-b87f-038f4bc5573d Contrary 2006-05-25T13:43:00Z 2006-05-25T13:43:00Z  Guess what? 

 Blue is building me a website!

     Possibly as I type, but maybe not since she has four rugrats under the age of four and is more likely changing a diaper or washing a face or locking herself in the bathroom, because did I mention that she has FOUR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 4??  From now on I am dedicating all my naps to her, because she has to need them more than I do.

   Anyway, this is very exciting, don't you agree?   For me, anyway; probably not so much for Blue, who is quickly realizing that I wasn't exaggerating when I described myself as a techno-idiot.    Y'all pray for her. 

      

      
]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-22:b40744b0-9822-4c48-8d26-a7fd5a850d0c Contrary 2006-05-22T17:08:58Z 2006-05-22T16:17:00Z
   Y'all, I promise not to use the words 'ass' or 'whipped' for the rest of this entry.  

 So, anyway, Quickblogs is whippin my ass. (oops. damnit. sorry.)  No, seriously, they suck. With a capital SUCK.  Like one of them there fancy European vacuum cleaners. 

  My problems are as follows:

 1)  There are like, six templates to choose from and I'm not in love with any of them.  I found one I could live with and tried to change it and all that happened was my template turned into this dirty little bastard child that looks awful.   I hate it and it's ugly. 

 2)  Usually, when you leave a comment on someone's blog, you're asked to leave your URL, if you have one.  That is the case here.  The only problem is that Quickblogs doesn't make my commenter's links clickable.   Now, for those who don't know this (my family), that's one way to drive traffic; leave a funny, thoughtful, intelligent comment on someone's else's blog and that person's readers may be so affected by what you had to say that they have to visit your blog, which they can conveniently do by clicking on your name under the comment. 

  Basically, I'm having traffic driven to me, but I'm not driving traffic to anywhere else.    And that's not fair.  Especially when you consider how funny and kind and silly  and smart  all my commenters are.   

 3)  I can't put those cute little buttons in my sidebar.  Wah.  Ok..not a biggie, but still, it blows.

   I have addressed these issues with Quickblogs and they simply don't offer them, but if I keep asking they might in the future!  WTF?    I have never encountered this anywhere else.  

 So, I've decided to move again.  Now, it's not gonna be today because I have some issues to work out as far as exporting my old entries  (because that would be ANOTHER problem with Quickblogs..they suck with the exporting).  Also, I jumped the gun last time because Quickblogs was free with my domain name.   I'd really like to never move again after this. 

Actually, what I would really like is for Quickblogs to get its head out of its ass and offer the same choices as any other company. The fuckers.

 I've almost decided on Wordpress, so if you have Wordpress, please, please, please leave a comment or e-mail me (at verycontrary@gmail.com), and tell me what you think of them and if you have any tips.  Please.

  Anyone else have issues with their blog dealie?   Wanna tell me so I feel better?   Oh, and  if you specifically have any tips for exporting to Wordpress from Quickblogs, or hell, to ANYWHERE from Quickblogs (as far as I can tell, I can only export to my computer's Notepad.), PLEASE HELP ME.  

         


]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-19:a1dc955e-4b6e-4613-a3e9-3219b357dfe1 Contrary 2006-05-19T18:35:00Z 2006-05-19T18:35:00Z the last post. 

Now, the conflict seems, to me, to be whether:   1) I ever kicked my brother Charlie's ass, or 2)  whether I was ever taller than him (despite the fact that he is my older brother by 18 months).  

 The answers to those questions are as follows:

1)  Nobody ever whipped Charlies ass.  He's wiry. I will say with some confidence, though, that of his immediate siblings, I was totally the most likely and capable to do so.  

 2)  Charlie and I were practically identical while growing up. Up to and including the same Godawful Dorothy Hamill haircut back in the day.  ( I feel I must address a serious problem right here. Mothers, do not give your children home haircuts unless you cut hair for a living.  Seriously. I'm not kidding. Stop it.)

      We were also fairly even in height for most of our youth. I was never taller than him, and don't think I am now.  We're about the same height, which does not make Charlie a short man, I am simply a tall woman. 

      I cannot tell y'all how many almost ass whippings I got because I looked just like Charlie.  Not that I'm bitter or anything.  Except I am.  Oh, and one time he told me that a picture I colored was awful and I swear to God it took me until my 30's to figure out that he was fucking with me.   Y'all, I was maybe 8 years old at the time.  That's how mean he was, alomost 30 years later I'm telling you about it.  He's a big mean boy.   Hold me.

      This is the part where I don't mention the frequency with which I kicked Andy's ass throughout our childhood. Because that would be mean, especially as he is defending me, in a way.  I don't know WHY, since I did not make and do not support his claims.  But he's my baby brother and I love him.

      There. Now y'all know where I stand on the issues. 
]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-17:302e79fd-4444-4b98-90d4-01611daf82f6 Contrary 2006-05-17T18:05:41Z 2006-05-17T17:25:00Z
   Way back when, there were three little girl cousins.  They were all around the same age and otherwise were nothing alike.  I was one, Jo (remember when she guest-blogged here?) was another and Tammy was the third. 

                                 

             Tammy, Jo and Me.  You can already see what a sunny personality I have.


       Jo's Mom, my Aunt Audrey, was not a figure to be feared, generally.  The worst thing about getting a spanking from her was making sure you sounded like she was KILLING you.  Trying not  to laugh so you wouldn't hurt her feelings caused more physical pain than the actual spanking.

   We used to say that we were more likely to learn our lesson from the cold we caught as the breeze her hand was causing went by than from the spanking itself.

   But one time,when we were all around 13 or 14,  Jo and Tammy got into a fight.  Not a little spat.  Not a little girly slapfight. An honest to God, there may be a hospital visit involved, fight.  

   I'm not sure what started it, but we can be pretty sure that Tammy was fucking with Jo in some manner.  Tammy was the shit-stirrer, Jo wasn't going to start anything, but she'd damn sure finish it. 

   So Jo ended up whipping Tammy's ass (because little chicks are crazy and will beat your ass before you even know what happened, yo).  She didn't just whip her ass, she tore her all up with her long nails. 

    Aunt Audrey sees Tammy bleeding and ascertains that Jo is the cause.  She proceeds to give Jo the only real spanking she ever got in her whole life. She will verify this.  The rest of us cousins got our asses whipped on at least a weekly basis by our own Moms, but Jo had the NICE Mom.  

   Not only does she spank her, she holds her down and cuts her nails off.   Several of us witnessed this.  We might have laughed.  It's all fuzzy.

    So my Aunt Audrey is a nice lady who only ever lost her shit with her kid once and that was because her kid had caused fairly serious injury to another person.  Jo is now a nurse, and a damned good one, so I think the lesson stuck.

   My aunt is sick and in the hospital.  She's been dealing with various serious health issues for awhile now, but this isn't looking so good.  So please think of the nice lady, and include her in your prayers
]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-14:707bc236-57e6-4b20-92bf-dc76373f0a55 Contrary 2006-05-14T14:23:50Z 2006-05-14T14:02:00Z
    Oh, yeah, Happy Mother's day to all you other muthas too.  

   We tested out the new camper this weekend and then my men took me to IHOP, where we gorged on various unhealthy (yet delicious!) foods and a surly hostess flung a carnation at me to help me celebrate this special day.

   I decided to not kick her metaphorical ass because she was probably a Mom too and I'd be pissy if I had to spend the day helping other mom have a nice Mother's Day. 

   I've worked on Mother's Day too (but not this one!), but I didn't have to spend the day around happy mothers with their families reminding me that my family was at home and I was not. 

   So let's take a moment to think of that gracious lady (whose name I didn't catch, possibly because she didn't throw it), and hopefully she'll feel the waves of goodwill spreading in her direction and she'll feel better.


* I was talking about  the relative shortness of the post, you bunch of pervs. 
]]> tag:so.verycontrary.com,2006-05-12:a7bf6b57-9a15-4c08-b725-d9730cf6cbb9 Contrary 2006-05-12T16:40:35Z 2006-05-12T15:48:00Z
   Now, I know y'all just exhausted your typing fingers wishing my boy a Happy Birthday, but it won't kill ya to do it again for Pookie.    Why should you?  He puts up with ME, people.   His infinite patience in the face of ME, should net him some birthday wishes, at the very least.  

  Plus, since we just gave the trailer dealership a big wad of cash and one of our children, and we're now saving for vacation, Pookie is going presentless this year.

   Now, before you think me a total bitch (shut up), we AGREED that he didn't need birthday gifts and I didn't need Mother's Day gifts, so that we could save some moolah.  And I did get him a card. I even remembered to give it to him.   Which? Really not like me, at all. 

      ***********************************************************************

    Y'all remember how I have no problem blatantly asking customers to bring me stuff, mostly because sometimes it WORKS?    This doesn't just work with donuts.  I've had customers bring me fried chicken (God Bless Harland Sanders), Taco Bell (mmmm, Chalupas!) and various homemade goodies.  

    Well, today a customer mentioned that he was going Mother's Day shopping and I mentioned that I'm a mother and that he should bring me something.   He asked me what my favorite color is and I told him orange.  He replied that I was not making things easy on him. 

  Pookie would have been happy to tell him that making things easy for people is not really a priority for me, but he wasn't there. 

   So anyway..the guy brings me a bag of oranges!   My favorite fruit (right after Elton John) and favorite color, all in one fell swoop!   Oh, and he also brought us all cheesecake.   We're all a little bit in love with him now, in a platonic, food seeking kind of way. 
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