Oy.

This entry was posted on 5/17/2006 5:25 PM and is filed under uncategorized.

   

   Way back when, there were three little girl cousins.  They were all around the same age and otherwise were nothing alike.  I was one, Jo (remember when she guest-blogged here?) was another and Tammy was the third. 

                                 

             Tammy, Jo and Me.  You can already see what a sunny personality I have.


       Jo's Mom, my Aunt Audrey, was not a figure to be feared, generally.  The worst thing about getting a spanking from her was making sure you sounded like she was KILLING you.  Trying not  to laugh so you wouldn't hurt her feelings caused more physical pain than the actual spanking.

   We used to say that we were more likely to learn our lesson from the cold we caught as the breeze her hand was causing went by than from the spanking itself.

   But one time,when we were all around 13 or 14,  Jo and Tammy got into a fight.  Not a little spat.  Not a little girly slapfight. An honest to God, there may be a hospital visit involved, fight.  

   I'm not sure what started it, but we can be pretty sure that Tammy was fucking with Jo in some manner.  Tammy was the shit-stirrer, Jo wasn't going to start anything, but she'd damn sure finish it. 

   So Jo ended up whipping Tammy's ass (because little chicks are crazy and will beat your ass before you even know what happened, yo).  She didn't just whip her ass, she tore her all up with her long nails. 

    Aunt Audrey sees Tammy bleeding and ascertains that Jo is the cause.  She proceeds to give Jo the only real spanking she ever got in her whole life. She will verify this.  The rest of us cousins got our asses whipped on at least a weekly basis by our own Moms, but Jo had the NICE Mom.  

   Not only does she spank her, she holds her down and cuts her nails off.   Several of us witnessed this.  We might have laughed.  It's all fuzzy.

    So my Aunt Audrey is a nice lady who only ever lost her shit with her kid once and that was because her kid had caused fairly serious injury to another person.  Jo is now a nurse, and a damned good one, so I think the lesson stuck.

   My aunt is sick and in the hospital.  She's been dealing with various serious health issues for awhile now, but this isn't looking so good.  So please think of the nice lady, and include her in your prayers

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Comments

• 5/18/2006 8:36 AM jo baby (will use family name on this entry...) wrote:
  You have a great memory.
  
  And very true... I have the NICE Mom... she rocks.
  
  About me & Tammy .... she kept knocking this fucking ball out of my hand...over and over and well,... fucking over. (Not that I'm still bitter).
  
  My mom thinks I hung the moon... always has. We all need someone in our lives who loves us as unconsitionally as my Mom's love for me. I'm glad I'm her daughter and not her friend. I'd have been SICK of her "Jo Baby" stories, comparisons, bragging, etc,... ack!!! She actually talked about me more then Contrar' & I talk about our own kids.....I know.....hard to believe, but it's true.
  
  Thank you for thoughts and prayers... Mom needs them.
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• 5/18/2006 8:40 AM jo baby wrote:
  unconditionally
  u-n-c-o-n-d-t-i-o-n-a-l-l-y
  un·con·di·tion·al·ly
  I get so eager to submit sometimes, my bad.
  Reply to this
• 5/18/2006 11:40 AM Charlie wrote:
  Unfofitionally....shoshunshishilly.....podunkitionally......jo baby...I am glad you are in health care and not academia.....sounds like u suffer from premature blogsubmission.....better get that checked out....While I am certain that those events shaped why you all turned out like u have....it was always great theater...for us guys, who never ever fought each other....HA! The only question I have is when was this picture taken.....is it carbon dated? Looks like a Jim Croce album cover or a Freedom Rock Commercial (Turn it up!) I will keep my Aunt (jo baby's momma) in my prayers. She is a special lady.
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  1. 5/18/2006 12:01 PM jo baby wrote:
     (trying to recall which rent house porch this picture was taken on)... We were about 12yrs old. I measure this by my apparent flatness, and contrary's not-so-flatness.
     Reply to this
• 5/18/2006 12:29 PM -Blue wrote:
  Sorry to hear about your aunt! (the fight story rocked, however). I'll have her in my thoughts.
  
  -Blue
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• 5/18/2006 1:21 PM Jack wrote:
  Jo, Im sorry to hear about your Mom. We always said hello in the elevator, at the Fairmont. I will keep her in my prayers.
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• 5/18/2006 7:32 PM sweatpantsmom wrote:
  Great story. My thoughts are with your aunt - she sounds like a cool lady.
  
  And Contrary - you're not foolin' nobody. We all know you must have had something to do with that fight.
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• 5/18/2006 8:10 PM Contrary wrote:
  Jo, I believe it was the house on Dowdell, over by LSUMC and the Unemployment Office (a quick memory: Joel and I walking past that office the day that Ronald Reagan was shot. We thought he had died because the flag was at half mast.)
  
  Charlie, you rat bastard. You made me laugh out loud with your Jim Croce crack. Oh, and bite me. You're still older than me.
  
  Blue, thanks. I count you as a friend and I appreciate your thoughts. If you thought the fight story rocked, you should have seen the actual fight. Think Quention Tarentino meets John Woo.
  
  Marsha, thanks. Your thoughts are appreciated. And I didn't have anything to do with it! I swear. In this, I was blameless. Granted, this was a very rare circumstance, since those two fucked with me all through our childhoods (one time, they put ketchup on some maxi-pads, stuck them all over themselves and kept running at me and trying to hug me. They were evil. It's a wonder I didn't beat them to a ketchupy pulp every damned day). But this time? This time I was innocent.
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• 5/18/2006 9:16 PM raggedyandy wrote:
  Uh, Charlie, if memory serves me right, Contrary was beating you up at the time. also, i seriously don't think you should be making fun of her. she was at least 3 inches taller than you. I think she still is.
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• 5/19/2006 6:12 AM jo baby wrote:
  It is true... Contrary had nothing to do with the actual fight. She did, however, peel me off of Tammy(I was on her like white on rice). She never hesitated to go head-to-head with her brothers. I think the reason she never kicked my ass is because I was such the petite little flower (read:a midget).
  
  Well, that and she'd have had to catch me first. (That's right... I'd have ran like a ho caught pocketing my abusive pimp's cut of the money)
  Reply to this
• 5/19/2006 9:09 AM Charlie wrote:
  Let us revisit the propaganda that is raggedyandy's comments...."Uh, Charlie, if memory serves me right, Contrary was beating you up at the time." Your memory is shady at best concerning that time period, you were not that old to have cataloged those memories for future blog references. I know for a fact that Contrary and I use to fight....we all did...but never once did she come out the victor...I think her and I were pretty much the same height then....but I will defer to her memory on this, not yours....
  Movin on to Contrary's retort..."Oh, and bite me. You're still older than me." Yes, Sis....technically.....chronologically....but......hmmm.....I wont go there!
  jo baby seems to have been bitten by the fuzzy memory bug also...."I think the reason she never kicked my ass is because I was such the petite little flower (read:a midget)." petite lil flower? Are u serious? jo baby ran that neighborhood.....she was the pimp!
  Glad I was able to clear that up for yall!
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  1. 5/19/2006 1:17 PM jo "da pimp" baby wrote:
     well... you know... life's hard out there for a pimp....
     Reply to this
• 5/19/2006 2:20 PM Mrs. Chili wrote:
  Keeping Aunt Audrey in my prayers. I LOVED the story - and the picture! I bet you and I'd get along just FINE.
  Reply to this
• 5/19/2006 5:20 PM raggedyandy wrote:
  while Charlie was trying to break dance and be successful with the girls(about the only one of contrary's bros that has been successful with the ladies) contrary did beat him up. i distinctly remember her pinning him down and beating him into submission at least once. just beacuse i cannot recall a date or reason down't mean it did not happen.
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• 5/22/2006 1:54 PM mothergoosemouse wrote:
  Contrary, look at your jawline in that old photo! Such a badass. I love it.
  
  Great story. Thinking good thoughts for your aunt.
  Reply to this
• 5/23/2006 9:00 AM jen wrote:
  um, can we discuss the HATS, please??
  
  Yeah, Contrary- that is a tough lookin' crew. I wouldn'tve messed w/ you.
  
  Your Aunt is in my prayers.
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