This entry was posted on 3/16/2006 8:36 PM and is filed under uncategorized.
So, anyway. Internet, we have a new addition to the family. I know, you didn't even know we were expecting. We weren't, really. Between one day and the next we had a new baby. We're not even sure if it's a boy or a girl. It's all very confusing.
Okay, so it's a bird. An African Grey parrot to be exact. He was given to me by a lady who's husband was a complete asshat. She said that the bird made too much noise for her husband. Okay, he talks constantly, but he's not that noisy. He's also completely afraid of men (which is kind of hurting Pookie's feelings. They're working through it though). The last bit of evidence of the husband's asshatiness (new word, Webster's!) is that one of the things the bird says is 'Shut up, Bird'. Which? Kind of pisses me off for the bird. He has no idea what it means, but still.
Could you tell this to shut up? 
I didn't think so!
You'll note that I keep referring to the bird as 'he' . We actually have no idea what gender the bird is. He was never sexed (in more ways than one, poor thing).
The upshot of all this, internet, is that we need a name for this baby. They (his former owners) were calling him 'Stinker'. This will not do. Not at all.
We need your help people. I am now holding a Name the Bird contest*! The excitement, she is too much, no?
He needs something with some dignity to it. Barring that, funny and original will do nicely. Put on your thinking caps, Internet!
I will list all entries and we might even vote on it if you people are interested in that. Let me know. Please leave your suggestion in the comments or, if you're feeling shy, you can always e-mail me at verycontrary@gmail.com.
* If you construed the word 'contest' to mean there would be a prize for the winner, well, you'd be sadly mistaken. Unless you feel being able to claim you named a bird who lives with total strangers in Texas is a prize, then, whoo, baby, you done won the lottery!
