About 5 minutes ago when I went to wake his lazy ass up (ok, so he works evenings and didn't get to bed till 2:00am, and therefore isn't technically lazy. Whatever.):

   Me: How's your ear feeling? 

   Him: Better. The ringing stopped.

   Me (whispering): Can you hear me?

   Him: Yes.

   Me (whispering even lower): Can you hear this, asshole?

   Him: Who are you talking to?  (because apparently there was a chance I was calling the cat an asshole)

   Me: You!

   Him:  Oh, because I knew my lovely sweet wife would never talk to me like that.

    Me:  (laughing my ass off)  Who else did you marry when I wasn't looking?

     In other news!  Y'all should go  here  and read her post on Google searches.  She's very funny and so are all her commenters and I'm afraid she may think I'm stalking her because I keep refreshing to see if anyone else has chimed in.    My name is Contrary and I'm addicted to  Breed Em and Weep . But in a good, wholesome, non-scary way. I promise!

     In more other news!  I'm off today! And tomorrow!  I plan a lot of sitting on my ass, interspersed with eating and possibly some shopping.    Oooh! And a nap! Or 6!

     Note to Daughter: Sarcasticness is not a word. You've lived with the sarcasm for 16 years. You should know this by now!