This entry was posted on 2/16/2006 12:46 PM and is filed under uncategorized.
This evening, as we pulled in the Mickey's D's drive-thru(because we're all about the healthy eating), my daughter spotted the police cruiser in line a couple of cars ahead of us and said, "I didn't know McDonald's had doughnuts."
Kinda funny, right?
I had to take this opportunity to give my daughter some very good advice: Do not joke about doughnuts in front of a cop. They do not think it's funny. At all.
How do I know this? I used to work at a veterinary clinic and a state trooper was a regular client, bringing his police dog in for baths, toenail trims, veterinary care, etc. He came in one morning and I (innocently) asked him if he brought us any doughnuts. Now, in my defense, I asked a lot of people that. It usually made them laugh (and sometimes they brought us doughnuts!).
It did not make him laugh. It made him angry. It made him deliver a diatribe about how cops don't only eat doughnuts, that in fact he did not even like doughnuts (which, in my opinion, made him an even bigger asshat than getting all het about an innocent comment) and that I should be more respectful to a group of people who risk their lives on a daily basis to keep me and mine safe.
He seriously bitched at me for 5 minutes, even after I apologized and tried to explain that I wasn't making a cop/doughnut joke.
So. Do not joke about doughnuts to a police officer. Don't mention doughnuts at all in front of a police officer. If you work in a doughnut shop and a police officer walks in and orders some, do not laugh, and you might want to call them sweet bagels or something.
Other things you shouldn't say in front of a police officer:
1) "Whoo, do y'all smell bacon?" (I do not care if there is a pan of bacon frying right next to you, just don't do it.)
2) "Hey, buddy, I pay your salary, you know!" (It's just not a good idea. Do you like the people who pay your salary? I didn't think so!)
3) "That uniform makes you look a little 'hippy'" (Because, really, that's just mean.)
4) "Don't shoot!" (They won't think it's funny and they might, you know, shoot.)
For the record, I have all the respect in the world for police officers. But people with a humor deficit get on my very last fucking nerve.
In other news, possible big doins around here, blogwise. I'll keep y'all updated, but I will say, I'm pretty damned excited!
