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Zagat's for the trailer park set

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This entry was posted on 12/17/2005 3:36 PM and is filed under uncategorized.


   So we tried a new eatery this evening. Ok, new to us. Not new to everyone else since it's a chain restaurant found in every city of any size in America.  I won't tell you the name but it rhymes with Tuby Ruesday's. (Yes, I know. The gag is hardly original. I am nothing if not derivative) 



   We found the food 'uninspired' and 'pedestrian'.  We actually used those words.  Now, I know what some of you are thinking. What the hell were we expecting, right?   Ok, so let me clarify.  We all know that chain restaurants are hardly bastions of great cuisine, but you can usually get a decent meal for a good price and come away happy.  This is not the case at Tuby's.  We got a so-so meal for an inflated price and came away unimpressed.



   The service was ok, mostly because the waitress was so nice while she kept fucking up our drink orders (I ordered sweet tea, he ordered unsweet tea. How fucking complicated is that?).  But she was a sweet girl and this was hardly the Russian Tea Room and again, what did we expect?



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   Note to the plus sized girl sitting across from us: There are two people in the world who look good in a black cowl necked sweater that hits at the waist. You are not one of them. I am not one of them. The difference between you and I is that I know it. 



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   Note to the gentleman seated by the door: Leather baseball caps are out. I don't mean in an 'out of the closet' way, I mean OUT. Never wear it again. Seriously.  Also, why in God's name would you let them seat you by the door where your date can catch every draft when someone opens the door?  Don't you know it's cold and flu season?



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    Conversation between Pookie and I as we're in the car, leaving:



  Me: Honey, let me out of this car to whip that boy's ass. (Trust me, his ass needed whipping. I just couldn't figure out how to tell y'all why in a cohesive, interesting and amusing manner. I tried.)



Him: Hey,the car is stopped. Go ahead.



Me:  You're not supposed to let me!



Him: Why not? He needs his ass whipped and I think you can do it.



Me: THAT'S why you're not supposed to let me!



  Apparently he will let  me commit felony assault simply because it's deserved and I'm capable. Well, this is Texas, where the 'he needed killing' defense is still considered reasonable.



  Fear not, fair readers, I didn't whip anybody's ass this evening. Yet.


   


 

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    • 12/17/2005 7:31 PM Pookie wrote:
      Just for the record: he needed his ass kicked.
      Reply to this
    • 12/18/2005 12:13 AM jojothedogfacedgirl wrote:
      And just for the record... when contrary spoke to jojo earlier that very evening, said dogfaced one TOLD her how unimpressed she and her husband found Tuby Ruesdays. Was hoping you'd have a better experience. And also fer tha record... I got $20 that says you can take the boy. Now... if I were Pookie... would have depended on one thing.. had I paid with cash... or credit card. Because I'm pretty sure you could have whipped his ass, with Pookie waiting in the get-a-way car.... then sped away. Then the poor boy would have to explain to the poe-poe how a chic just randomly whipped his ass then took off in a family van. (wonders if you were wearing a skirt, cause this only adds to the visual) As for the cowl sweater... I feel ya... the room mother at my kid's school isn't one of the rare two either. Christmas party on Friday... short sqatty chic , heavy make-up, hair in rounded feathers (remember those?...) off-white (NOT a very thinning color... and she needed one)much too big cowl neck sweater, black gouchos (made with too much material) and tall black boots (which means she must have really been about 4'10"). She looked like a fucking Oompha-Loompha. Know your size... and dress within it. If it shows fat rolls... or if you have more than an inch of "extra" hanging over, then you are NOT a "tucker" Now... look me in the eyes big girls (and I can say this, cause I ARE one).....Thou shalt not tuck. Nor shall thou wear low rise pants and torture the rest of us. (note that I've began to rant... this simply denotes how passionate I am about fashion abuse...*grin*.... )We should organize a charity... with 12 step fashion rehab program and everything. I can see it now.. "Hi, my name is JoJodogface girl.. and I'm a fashion abuser.. it began when I was 10yrs old and wore pants with rainbows stitched into them.... then there was this once, in my early 30s... I wore this short skirt.. with tall black fuck-me boots , but it was NOT the style at that time... I realized later I looked like a Go-Go dancer.." I was BOTH ahead of, and behind of the times in that outfit....because it was 2 yrs later that you saw chics in short skirts and long boots. OK...*deep breath*.. Pssst... Pookie... If by chance Contrary should ever commit a felony (and, if ever arrested, I would make sure she had plenty of cigs to barter with in the Pokey...so she doesn't become some ones cell bitch.... I'm caring like that.), you can stash her here fer a while, I'd do that fer my Thelma... Love, Louise
      Reply to this
    • 12/18/2005 5:41 AM Andy wrote:
      tell me why in an incohesive, uniteresting, unamusing manner. this just begs to know why. /Ruby Teusday sucks. Viva la Garfield's
      Reply to this
    • 12/22/2005 7:32 AM goldmoon wrote:
      Isn't it amazing what some people will wear? Especially the bigger girls. It's an endless source of amusement for me.
      Reply to this
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