Ok,so I've been gone for awhile.  It's a long story involving my chickenshit phone company buying my chickenshit ISP and me losing internet for over a week. I won't bore you with it.  But the saddest part (and therefore the funniest) is that I come to you today courtesy of dial-up.   

  I know. Hilarious. Goddamnit.

I've learned my lesson,Internet!  Can I have my high-speed connection back now,please?